So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
