eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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