Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
