Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize