I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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