we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
