Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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