Duck Duck Cougar?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
