is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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