Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
