Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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