do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
