on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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