Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Damn victory sex feels great
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
