Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
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