He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
