Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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