Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
