I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
