I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
