remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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