Don't you send me to vm
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
