Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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