Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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