Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
