so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
