i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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