Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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