Me too!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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