I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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