Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
