At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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