its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
