To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
