suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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