She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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