what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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