I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
