Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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