Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
