but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
