Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.

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(714): View more from California

I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.

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(303): View more from Colorado

maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...

Fav 11 1452 4125
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(325): View more from Texas

As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,

Fav 11 4466 1899
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(609): View more from New Jersey

He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night

Fav 9 5146 1964
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(802): View more from Vermont

I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger

Fav 9 2645 1234
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(705): View more from Ontario

Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.

Fav 2 513 627
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(512): View more from Texas

Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.

Fav 0 12 36
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