Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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