Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
