Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
