Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
