He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
