Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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