We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you didnt know i had herpes?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
