What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
