Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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