I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
