I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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