is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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