3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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