physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize