I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
