Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I skipped work to stalk him.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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