Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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